Outings

There's nothing like that feeling of watching the parents' car pull out the drive or their plane taxi for takeoff. It's both exhilirating and a bit nerve-wracking to think that now you and your grandchild will be one-on-one buddies for the days to come.

Well, who says you need to stay home yourselves? Outings can be one way to make this close personal attention a lot of fun for your young visitors — just take along a bag with food, any diapering items, an extra set of clothes, and a few small toys for each child to make sure nothing will spoil your good experience.

Some terrific outings for young children include picnics; trips to the zoo, museums, parks, or library (check, too, for children's story hours at your neighborhood library); visits to a dairy farm or to see maple syrup being made; backyard "wildlife" photo shoots and bird watching; a trip to a cider mill or to feed ducks; cross-country skiing or beachcombing; lying in the grass and naming the shapes of the clouds; "doing lunch" or going to a movie; and taking walks around the neighborhood looking for things you've designated beforehand (such as cats, lawn mowers, or cars). You know best what's going on in your area, and if you're not sure, try browsing through your newspaper or calling your local children's library or hands-on children's museum for ideas.

Most of all, do a child-oriented activity that you will enjoy as much as your grandchild will — your enthusiasm will be infectious.

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Car Safety Tips

It can surprise grandparents used to driving with only the hum of the engine and some classical music in the background to suddenly have the added distraction of grandchildren in the car. Perhaps you're not accustomed to getting an occasional animal cracker down the back of your neck or a sudden holler of "What's that, Grandpa?!" from a boisterous toddler. The effect on your driving can be at the least distracting, and at the worst, disastrous.

What can you do to keep your grandchildren happy and your concentration intact? First, make sure all your grandchildren are buckled into appropriate car seats. All child restraints in your car should be manufactured after 1981, after the federal government began requiring manufacturers to certify that their seats could pass crash tests. Be sure, too, that the seat has never been involved in a crash.

Next, make sure you have some fail-safe toys and snacks within reach of your older grandchildren or within your reach so you can pass something fun to the back seat while at a stoplight. We found an especially durable and fun companion was an unbreakable mirror fastened to the front seats and facing the munchkin in the rear. Now you won't have to be the only audience for all your grandchild's antics in the car!

Last, but never least, set some ground rules for riding in Grandma and Grandpa's car. You might want to top the list with the ultimate pair of safety rules: the car doesn't move unless everyone is buckled in, and everyone puts their hands on their heads before doors are closed to prevent pinched fingers. And be sure to include the essential dictate that "everyone gets to choose a silly song to sing." After all, not all rules have to be dreaded or difficult.

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Alphabet Derby and Other Games for the Car

The call you've been waiting for has finally come. The parents are exhausted, on their last legs, and are actually anxious to hand their dynamic dynamo over to your tender loving care for a whole week. The only trick is that they said, "come and get her." Grandpa will help drive, but you hadn't thought about entertaining that angelic bundle of energy in a car seat for a seven-hour trip. Well, never fear, grandparents, you're not alone. Just skim through this section for a few gems, flip to the end of the chapter for some back-up tips (see especially "1, 2, 3 . . . How Many Do I See?"), and you'll be armed with all the ideas you need to amuse even that terrific two.

I See a . . . This game has the advantage of endless variations. One person picks an object in the car and gives the color of the object; the others guess until someone names the object and then it's his turn. In a "category" version, a category is decided on — say, zoo animals. Then each player in turn names a zoo animal — monkey, bear, zebra, etc. until someone cannot think of a new one or names an animal already named. Then the game can start again with a new category.

I Packed My Trunk. This is a fun memory game. The first person says he packed something in his trunk, say, a towel; the second person says he packed a towel and something new, say a toothbrush, the third person must repeat the first two items and add a new third one, and so on.

Alphabet Derby. In this discovery game, the first person must find a word in a sign beginning with A, the next person must find a word beginning with B, and so on through the alphabet.

Dots. This activity is perfect for older preschoolers. Start with a sheet of paper on which you've a square of dots evenly spaced across and up and down. Each player takes a turn to draw a straight line either horizontally or vertically between any two dots. When your grandchild is able to draw the fourth line, closing up a box, she "owns" the box and can put her initials inside it. She then gets another turn until she can no longer close up a box. When she has closed up all the boxes she can, she must still draw another line before the next person's turn begins. When all the lines have been drawn and the initials counted up, the game is over.

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Motel Mania

Finally a room you can make a mess in but not have to clean! If your trip with your little one involves a night in a motel, try using your imagination to make this safe but boring room a launchpad for new adventures. A pack of cards can create a city for tiny people. Hide small objects in the room and give clues — either "hot" and "cold" or riddle-like hints — until the item is found. Turn that wastebasket into a goal or a coat hanger into a hoop and take turns playing "hoops" with crumpled newspaper. You can even play a half-scary game of "islands." Simply lie sheets of newspaper or paper towel on the rug - these become safety islands and the grandkids must cross the ocean without getting into the water.

Bathtime, if your young grandchild is comfortable in a new tub, can also be a fun opportunity for play if you are careful to give constant supervision. Those improvised toys you think of, too, will be both memorable and fun. You might try using a straw for making bubbles, fashioning boats out of popsicle sticks, or using paper or plastic cups for pouring or for channel marker buoys.

Most of all, enjoy the excitement of your new one-night home, and be patient with unsettled feelings. Set up that portacrib, but don't be surprised if you have a visitor before the night is through. Just think of it as another opportunity for cuddling with that little one who's growing up faster than we dare admit.

What do you get when you mix two cups understanding, one cup kindness, and a generous dollop of good humor? A grandparent who's ready to accept grandchildren regardless of how grumpy or outlandish they can be.

Visiting grandchildren is unlike any other sort of family experience, and it requires that grandparents be as flexible and relaxed as possible. Grandbaby Sara might be teething, four-year-old grandson Keith might be up with nightmares each night, and your little grandtoddlers may well spend part of your visit peering at you over big toys and Mom and Dad's protective arms. Not only that, but as the visitor, you'll want to realize that you are entering your grandchild's world. The best visits, it seems, result from grandparents offering the same respect and consideration to their grandchildren that they hope their grandchildren will grant when they stay with them.

Building this rapport will not be as easy as wiping your feet at the door or always offering to help prepare meals — in fact, these niceties have much more to do with your love and affection for a grandchild's parents. Instead, you'll want to construct, block by toy block perhaps, your role as one who appreciates and enjoys the world as it seems to your grandchild. You might start by asking gentle questions of your little ones about the routines that involve them. "Where does this toy go?" you might ask, as you help to pick up toys before lunch. "How does this work?" you inquire strategically, as you try out the unfamiliar dishwasher or coffee pot. Our toddler Nick loves it when his grandparents ask him how to find things around his house — and it's a great way to make a true friend of any little despot.

Perhaps the biggest bonus of establishing this respectful rapport with your littlest grandchildren is that they will begin to trust you deeply. Your priceless reward will be the moment when your grandtoddler, with wonder in his face, takes you aside to tell you a "secret" or a little story about his teddy bear — or when your preschooler grandchild tells you about his favorite teacher with a shy smile. What a wonderful feeling for both of you — and a great foundation for the days when your older grandchild has more weighty matters to discuss.

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Being Memorable Away from Home

We couldn't resist chuckling the other day as we were in line to ride the swan boats at the Boston Public Garden. A visiting Grandpa who was waiting with his grandchildren was really hamming it up. "What's your name again?" he said, pointing to his giggling four-year-old granddaughter. "Don't feed the people!" he hollered agreeably to the people looking over the bridge at us. "Where do you think those ducks sleep at night?" he asked his awe-filled two-year-old grandson. Something about the way this Grandpa let it all hang out was both fun and inspiring to us. We know this is one grandparent who will spark new opportunities for learning and closeness throughout his grandchildren's growing-up years because his banter was simply irresistible to his little ones.

It may surprise you to realize that your personality, just like this Grandpa's, is portable. Oh, we know. You think that you're toting your whole self around when you visit your youngest grandchildren. But think how much more reserved most of us feel when we're separated from our familiar home. We may feel at a loss for what to do in a community away from our own favorite museums, libraries, and local happenings. Moreover, we may need to give ourselves a pep talk before we leave so that we overcome our hesitancy to become fully involved in whatever your grandchildren dream up. Try spicing up your visits to a grandchild's home by doing a bit of homework first, and then by"putting your whole self in." You'll find yourself doing more than the hokey-pokey — whole new opportunities for closeness with your grandchildren will appear. And after all, "that's what it's all about!"

Nursery School

Preschool and daycare experiences provide wonderful opportunities for sharing. Just don't be surprised if you end up being a Grandpa or Grandma to the whole class for the day, because little ones just love the idea of having a loving senior among them. Just be sure to ask the teacher if it's all right for you to join in (you're sure to get an enthusiastic response unless another special event was planned). You can then sit right down in those tiny chairs and chat along with the youngsters as you all play with playdough, art materials, or games.

You might also take the spotlight with your grandchild during the class group, or "circle," time — if this is something that interests you both. After passing your ideas by the classroom teacher, you might read a story or sing a song (perhaps with a musical instrument) that you and your grandchild have chosen together. This way your little one will have a chance to introduce you and perform for the others with your support.

Sometimes, too, schools have special grandparent events that you might want to attend. Next time you're dropping off or picking up your grandchild at school, be sure to introduce yourself to your grandchild's teacher, if you haven't already, and ask about any parties or get-togethers to which you might come. You might even be able to fill in as a special guest for parent events if an unavoidable conflict prevents Mom or Dad from attending.

Play with the Babysitter, Too

Perhaps your grandchild has a regular babysitter, with whom you can attend a sing-along concert or story hour at your local library. Getting to know the adults who are important in your little one's life shows that you want to understand their world. Your acceptance will also help your grandchild feel more confident about his affection for this other adult — which is not only an important comfort but also reassures your grandchild that it's healthy to enjoy being with people outside of the family.

Rapping with the Littlest Gang: Your Grandchild's Friends

Children grow up fast, it's true, but your under-five grandchildren are as likely to be hippity-hopping as hip-hopping these days (thank goodness!). So trust your instincts and see if you can finnagle an invitation to play. You could pop your head around the corner as your four-year-old grandchild is playing with a friend and suggest a simple cooking project (see Chapter 4 of Grandloving for some suggestions). Or try walking around with a mask or simple facepaint design and see if your curious little ones and their friends ask to do the same. Even simply asking gently to join in their game can open the door to a fun afternoon of conversations and silliness as you add your grandparent imagination and ideas.

The respect and love you nurture by being an interested and responsive grandparent will give you access to a world you may only vaguely remember — a world of suspense, drama, and fun that revolves around events and ideas we now take for granted. You may never have dreamed that the swirly patterns made by cream as it's added to coffee would be the backdrop for such intense curiosity by your little one. You may find yourself reading stories to favorite toys while you cuddle up to your grandchild — Nick insists that his "choo choo" enjoy all his favorite books, too. And what a wonderful feeling to be surrounded by a playgroup of little ones, all eager to make muffins or playdough. Immersing yourself in a small world is one of the richest rewards of grandparenting.

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The Magic of Unconditional Love

We know, we know. This all sounds great, but some of you still feel inhibited about being childlike with your grandchild. We, too, took a while to jettison those old self-conscious feelings. But now that we have, we just can't let you lug around that outdated excuse — truly playing with grandchildren is just too much fun and too important for everyone.

And if you don't believe us, believe B. R. of Fairport, New York. Her young granddaughter asked her how her diet was going before an upcoming visit. Barb replied, "I'm trying, but it looks like I'll be bringing that same old body." Her granddaughter's adorable, tinkly voice answered, "That's okay, Grandma, we love that old body!" Come on, fellow grandparents, you can do it. Toss aside your embarrassment about how you look playing in the sandbox or giving your special bear hug at the nursery school door and revel in knowing that your grandchild only has eyes for the wonderful person you are inside. That's the magic of the love between grandchild and grandparent.

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Tub Tile Art

Finger painting was never so much fun, and you're going to love the way this one cleans up!

Ages: Eighteen months to five years

You'll Need to Tuck in Your Suitcase:
* An envelope of unflavored gelatin
* Bag of 1/2 cup cornstarch
* Food coloring

Here's How:
* Soak the gelatin in 1/4 cup cold water.
* Stir the cornstarch into 3/4 cup cold water.
* Bring 2 cups water to a boil and then slowly pour it into the cornstarch mixture, stirring constantly. Bring this to a boil over medium heat and cook and stir until the mixture is thick and clear.
* Add and stir in the dissolved gelatin.
* When cool, pour into separate containers--a plastic egg carton works beautifully--and add a few drops of food coloring to each well.
* Fill up the tub and turn 'em loose.
* Though the artistic efforts won't last, it'll be a snap to clean it all up, and with the promise that they can do it again another night, no one will mind when it's all washed down the drain!

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Body Double

Maybe you'll even be allowed to take this life-sized replica of your beloved little one home with you!

Ages: Two to five years

You'll Need:
* Large sheet of paper
* Crayon or marker
* Colored construction paper
* Scissors

Here's How:
* Have your grandchild lie down on the large sheet of paper and then trace all the way around your little darling.
* Cut out the life-sized body double and turn your grandchild loose with the crayons and construction paper to "clothe" and decorate the body.
* Be sure to hang it up for all to admire.

You might want to make this an annual ritual--it would be fun for all to see the growth from year to year!

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Grandpa's Shaving Cream Creations

Gleeful giggles and a memory of fun with Grandpa are guaranteed with this one!

Ages: Two to five years

You'll Need to Tuck in Your Suitcase:
* Grandpa's shaving cream

Here's How:
* A high-chair tray or a large cookie sheet makes the perfect table for this activity.
* You could even add the few drops food coloring to the sweet smelling, billowy mound of shaving cream.
* Let your little darling experience the smooth, irresistible feel of gliding it around the tray.
* This can even be a super activity for bath time, or try finger painting on a mirror and play "peek-a-boo."
* Be sure to encourage use of fingers, knuckles, palms, fists, and toes!
* Try warming the shaving cream in a pan of hot water for a soothing experience.

> Be sure the shaving cream stays out of the eyes, and thoroughly wash hands when through.

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Paintless Painting

Introduce your enterprising painter to the joys of no-mess, outside water painting! Ages: Eighteen months to five years You'll need to tuck in your suitcase:
* A large paintbrush Here's How:
* Fill a large bucket or pan with water.
* Hunt for fun things to paint outside with the water such as the house, the sidewalk, rocks, a tricycle, bricks, etc.
* Watching things darken as they get wet and lighten as they dry will delight your enterprising painter!

Inspire and delight your little detectives with these personalized brain teasers!

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Mystery Sounds

Familiar sounds from your home are the backdrop to this challenging "conversation-starter" of a game.

Ages: Three to five years

You'll Need to Send:
* An audiotape of sounds from your home

Here's How:
* Tape sounds in and around your home (door bell, telephone, clock chimes, dog barking, birds singing, water filling a tub, sewing machine, wind chimes, typewriter, Grandpa sneezing etc.).
* Ask your grandchildren on the tape if they can identify the sound riddles.
* Set up a time to discuss their answers, or have them mail the answers to you.

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Puzzling Grandparents

Surprise your grandchildren with your smiling faces after they piece together this puzzle!

Ages: Three to five years

You'll Need to Send:
* An enlarged photo of yourselves
* A shirt cardboard
* Glue
* Scissors

Here's How:
* Glue your photo onto the shirt cardboard.
* With scissors cut it up into puzzle shapes — having the difficulty of the puzzle match the ability of your grandchild.
* Send the pieces off in an envelope with a note: "When you put this together you'll see who loves you."

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Picture Words

Even your littlest grandchildren will enjoy guessing what the pictures "say."

Ages: Two to five years

You'll Need to Send:
* Drawings or cut outs of figures that when combined with other pictures make a word — a rebus.

Here's How:
* The English language is filled with words that can be deciphered from a series of pictures. Some examples are:
apple + tree
butter + cup
horse + radish
station + wagon
missile + toe
chest + nuts
dragon + fly
stone + wall
foot + ball

* Come up with a page for your little one to guess using either drawings or pictures cut out of magazines.

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Remember Remember?

You may have called it remember or concentration, but it's an old card game favorite that even the high-tech grandchildren of today will enjoy!

Ages: Three to five years

You'll Need to Send:
* Metal lids from frozen juice containers
* Stickers (two sets needed to make pairs)

Here's How:
* Wash the metal lids - they have smooth edges!
* Put a sticker on only one side of each lid - making pairs
* Send the instructions for a new twist to the old game:

• All the pieces are placed picture down on the table.
  
• The first person gets to turn over two lids.
  
• If they match, he gets to keep the pair. If they don't match he must turn them back over and the next person has a turn.
  
• The one with the most pairs at the end of the game wins.
  
• This makes a simple fun game to add to by mail when you are separated from your wee one — just pop a new pair of lids in the mail when you think of it.

* Because they have the "ring" of money, a younger grandchild will love carrying these lids in a "dress up" pocketbook.

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Grandloving Activity Idea: A Little Detective Game

Get out your old science journals, grandparents, and teach your grandsleuths how to discover who sent the parcel!

Ages: Four to five years

You'll Need to Send:
* Your smudgy fingerprints on the paper and envelope
* A tiny magnifying glass
* A piece of cotton soaked in Grandma's perfume or Grandpa's shaving cream

Here's How:
* You could quote the scientific fact that fingerprints and smells last and can be used to identify people.
* Send your fingerprints and the scent of your perfume or shaving cream through the mail to see if your little scientist can detect who it's from.
* Turn a few of those fingerprints into little bugs: just add some legs and eyes. and suggest you'd like your grandsleuth to send some "bug-prints" your way too.

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Grandloving Activity Idea: Smell and Tell

Send a simple science activity that will be fun to discuss over the phone.

Ages: Three to five years

You'll Need to Send:
* Little envelopes filled with things your grandchild can identify by smell — crushed mint leaves, cocoa, orange peels, rose petals, cinnamon, cloves, vanilla on a cotton ball, crushed pine needles, etc.

Here's How:
* Put one "smell" in each envelope and seal it to avoid "peeking."
* It'll help keep the smells separate if you then put each envelope in a separate small plastic bag.
* Number the envelopes and keep a record of what you have put in each one so you can have fun testing your little one over the phone.